Blog #4

 Hi! It has been a while, ain't it? This would be my fourth blog and I'm feeling a bit relieved after the exams. I am not happy about how I faced the exam, but I'm happy that it's over. 

So, today is the last day of this year, wow, time really flies, huh!

I've been thinking what I have accomplished in this year. To be honest, I haven't done much actually. Well, I started this blog but why do I feel like I'm running outta things to write. So, I've decided to write whatever now. I don't have the plans and I kinda never did. I just roll with it. It is amazing when I hear people got plans. It really is a good thing, but I don't have much on my hands (at least for now). Hopefully, I'll be able to do well in next year. At least to get a feeling oh, I'm living not just existing.

How does it feel when someone does not appreciate your presence, friendship or whatever it is as much as you do? I've quite experienced such situations. Well, I don't say I'm the most tolerable, nice, perfect friend, but I feel like I did not deserve that. It really makes me question  their friendship and maybe I was just a friend for the sake of it. It happened 6, 7 years ago, but I still remember that day. I was so excited to meet this friend that I couldn't meet in a while because we changed schools, so I called another friend and asked about the time her class finishes and went there to surprise her, just to get asked, "why did you come?" It was not the tone or a response that was meant in a pleasant way. I felt really bad, then only I realized that I meant nothing. I felt stupid for being excited. It is something about me not deserving them or them not deserving me.

Friendship is really something, I don't think I'm in a place to give definitions to anything but it really helps you, it keeps you warm. It is feeling that they are there for me, I don't care whether they actually there for me or not but the words matter. When you're in a bad mood, having a hard time, indecisive, depressed, happy, excited they'll be always there for you. They'll at least support you with words and I think such efforts really matter. You can't just make friends with anyone, they should be compatible. I think it is important to have common interests and good understanding. They should not be embarrassed of seeing or being with you and they should accept for the person who you are. If not, they can just leave or you can.

I'm blessed to have such nice people around me and I'm forever grateful for that. Thank you for all these years and for the years ahead!